Interview with Phil Lam, the Newbie Dad: “My Child Has Opened a New Door in My Life”

Family is the cornerstone of social harmony and prosperity. To promote good family values with the focus of “Fostering Stable Family Relationships for Building Good Family Values and Virtues”, the Home and Youth Affairs Bureau and the Family Council co-organised the Hong Kong Excellent Family Awards in 2025. Through a collection of sincere and touching real-life family stories, the campaign aims to illuminate the essence of a happy family: love and care, responsibility and respect, communication and harmony.

In this issue, we are honoured to speak with singer-songwriter Phil Lam, who embraced fatherhood for the first time last year. “In climbing life’s ‘Mountains and Valleys’, I am blessed to have found ‘Someone who Resonates with Me’. Now, with ‘A Pair of Hands’, we hold our child’s little hands and light up the journey of life together.” During the conversation, Phil opens his heart, sharing the joys and lessons learnt in parenthood, the unconditional love he is passing on, and his heartfelt encouragement for all expectant and new parents.

The Foundation for a Strong Marriage: “We Are in the Same Boat”

A harmonious marriage forms the first chapter of a happy family.

Phil and his wife, Rikko Lee, have been walking hand in hand since they fell in love at 22. Looking back, he smiled warmly. “We keep nothing from each other. Whether it is something good or something difficult, we put everything on the table. At the end of the day, we are in the same boat and partners on the same journey.”

Marriage taught him lessons he did not expect. “When we were young, we always wanted to be right, and that led to arguments. But I have learnt that there is no real winner in conflicts. Even if you win, the relationship loses.” Now, with a child in the picture, their priorities have shifted. “Everything I do, everything I work for, is no longer for myself. It’s all for our child,” Phil said with a smile.

The 30 Seconds That Felt Like a Lifetime: Welcoming Their “Miracle Baby”

“When I first learned my wife was pregnant, I had to control my excitement.”

The joy in Phil’s heart was stirred by a quiet unease as he recalled friends who had once held the same hopes, only to meet disappointment. Nevertheless, he knew that becoming a father required stepping up and doing the work. He threw himself into preparations, from re-arranging work commitments, setting up the nursery, caring for his wife’s health and daily needs, to planning ahead for parenting arrangements. To Phil, welcoming a child is one of life’s greatest undertakings, something to be approached with full devotion and teamwork.

On the delivery day, an unexpected complication turned natural labour to an emergency Caesarean section. The anxiety and fear of that day are something he never forgets. Even after the baby was born, they had to wait for his first cry - the sign that he could breathe on his own.

“Those 30 seconds waiting for his first cry were absolutely the longest and most tormenting 30 seconds of my life.” Watching the doctors examine the baby in the silent room, Phil whispered a plea in his heart, “Please cry…please breathe…” Then, at last, a sharp cry cut through the tension. Fear and anxiety dissolved into relief, joy, love and profound gratitude, so overwhelming that both he and his wife burst into tears. They named their son Darrien, lovingly calling him their “Miracle Baby”, a testament to the extraordinary journey that brought the precious baby into their lives.

A New Door in Life Opened

“I thought I experienced a lot in my forty years of life. But my son taught me there are so much more to experience and learn.”

When Phil first held his son, something has changed in him. “As a son, I have been receiving unconditional love from my father. But when I became a father, I became a giver. Passing this profound love to my son felt like stepping into a new world. It was as if a new door in life opened, and on the other side was a different version of myself.” When his son was only a few days old, he had already made a promise: “I would do everything for you.”

Fatherhood has reset Phil’s perspective. He now sees the world through his son’s eyes, where every moment is new and every simple thing holds wonder. “When a simple animal sound in the park makes him wave his hands with pure joy, I realise that happiness is enjoying the little things in life.” That heartfelt joy reminds him to treasure the ordinary moments that are so easy to overlook.

A Devoted Father and Husband with Steadfast Shoulders

In the entertainment industry where uncertainty reigns, it is typical for artists to chase and priortise visibility to ensure opportunities. After becoming a father, Phil chose a different direction. He reduced his on-stage appearances and focused more on songwriting and behind-the-scenes work, choosing quality time with his family over the spotlight.

“This is totally worth it.” Although this decision meant giving up certain career opportunities, his definition of success has changed. “Watching my son grow strong and healthy, and seeing my family happy, is the greatest success and blessing in life.”

Becoming a parent also deepened his understanding of being a “good father” and a “good husband”. “A good father or husband does not need to earn a fortune. What matters is love, and the willingness to shield your loved ones from whatever challenges and difficulties that come their way.”

To Phil, being a good father and husband means having steadfast shoulders that embrace responsibilities with love. “No matter how tiring the days may be, seeing my wife and child happy makes everything worthwhile.”

Phil, his wife and his mother-in-law follow a cooperative parenting approach, taking turns to care for the baby and share household chores. Although couple time has become less frequent, family time has grown richer and more meaningful. Watching his son grow day by day fills him with joy and gratitude. “The fulfilment I feel now is something I had never experienced before.”

As for Darrien’s future, Phil hopes that his son will grow into a kind and passionate person. “He doesn’t need to be the best. As long as he lives each day with curiosity, enthusiasm and courage, that is more than enough.”

Epilogue

Phil’s story unfolds like a heartfelt love letter to all families. Through his music and actions, he shows what it means to love with both gentleness and strength. Parenthood is far more than carrying life forward. It is a profound journey that transforms individuals with growth and love that deepens in ways they never expect.

When one chooses to carry their responsibilities with steadfast shoulders, and to love and cherish the people who matter most, the foundations of a happy family start to grow. In love and trust, happiness and harmony take root and flourish.