The “Secrets” of a Fifty-Year Marriage

International Women’s Day is not just a celebration of women’s achievements across various fields – it is a reminder of our journey towards gender equality. As we honour the remarkable contributions of women, let us also reflect on how men and women can flourish together in marriage, work, and family through harmony, equality and mutual support. Marriage is a grand adventure for couples – one filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. We are honoured to talk to one of the entertainment industry’s most committed couples, John Chiang and Maggie Li, as they share the essence of enduring love in their fifty-year journey together.

While Chiang and Li’s marriage may appear to the public as a fairytale romance, it actually embodies a deeper narrative of mutual understanding, acceptance, and growth – a love shaped not by perfection but by the art of navigating life’s unpredictable tides together.

The Secrets to a Successful Marriage: Understanding and Acceptance

When asked about the key to a lasting marriage, Chiang and Li shared a truth both simple and profound: love is not built on romantic gestures but on understanding and acceptance. Li mused, “Marriage is a lifelong commitment; it’s not about who’s right or wrong but how we face our problems together. When conflicts arise, staying calm is the first step to resolving them.” Chiang agreed, adding, “Every couple argues. But the trick is knowing when to step back and let the storm pass. Anger can cloud judgment, but patience clears the way for communication. Once emotions settle, a simple conversation can make all the difference.”

Balancing Work, Family, and Parenting

For actors, time at home is a luxury. Chiang, who spent much of his career traveling for film shoots, reflected on the challenges of finding a balance. “Filming can be so busy that you barely sleep,” he recalled. In the early years, the family moved to Canada while he frequently travelled back to Hong Kong for work. “Even when work kept me in Hong Kong, I’d book the first available flight back to my family, and return to work at the last minute.” No matter how tired he was, he always prioritised family time. “The saying goes, ‘There's no place like home’ – and it’s true. No five-star hotel can replace the warmth of your own family.”

After adhering to a traditional, strict parenting style, Chiang and Li’s parenting philosophy has evolved with time. “We were raised with discipline and rigorous etiquette,” Chiang recalled. “Naturally, we used these traditional methods on our children.” Li admitted that she was particularly strict with their eldest daughter, saying, “I was a ‘tiger mom’. If she scored 98 on a test, I’d say, ‘Not bad, but you could have gotten 100.’ I rarely gave praise, always focused on minor flaws. Looking back, I realise that added pressure rather than encouragement. I should have praised my children more, after all, they worked so hard.” With their grandchildren, however, they have softened and learned to embrace the modern approach. “We still remind them to sit properly at the dinner table, but we also appreciate the new generation's focus on mental well-being and individuality. Every era brings new wisdom.”

Navigating the Ups and Downs of Marriage: Finding Happiness in Simplicity

Life, with its sweet and bitter moments, has tested Chiang and Li in countless ways. One of their biggest challenges came in 2011, when Li was diagnosed with colon cancer. Chiang recalled, “The moment I heard the news, I dropped everything. My work and plans no longer mattered, and I just wanted to take good care of her. Our family and friends were worried, but she remained so calm, even comforting us. She’s really stronger than me.” Li offered her perspective, saying, “I believe there’s a reason for everything that happens, and that it’s all part of a greater plan. When I was the one involved, I embraced it, and focused on recovery. The truth is, you can’t control everything in life, and excessive fear or worry isn’t helpful.”

Fortunately, her strength and resilience helped her recover. With steadfast love, couples can face challenges together even in the lowest moments and emerge stronger.

Chiang and Li’s love has remained steadfast through the highs and lows over the past fifty years. Yet, when it comes to the wedding ceremony, they are refreshingly unconventional. They never had a wedding banquet, nor did they even take wedding photos. Li shared, “to me, the true essence of marriage isn’t in ceremonies or rituals, but in the little things – the daily acts of love, the moments of understanding and support.” Chiang added, “It may sound a bit cheesy, but sometimes words aren’t necessary. A glance, a smile – these are the unspoken languages of love.”

Conclusion

Chiang and Li have shown that marriage is not about who is right or wrong, but a shared commitment to facing life together. Their story reminds us that true love is about resilience, companionship, and the simple, beautiful act of choosing each other every single day. In a world that constantly evolves, the timeless values of equality, respect, and understanding remains the keys to strong and lasting relationships.